Are You Missing Out on Your Own Life?

Recently something has happened deep within me that I’m absolutely ecstatic about and have been working towards for some time.  For the first time in my adult life, I love being single.  There, I said it and I’ll say it again: I love being single!

 

In the past I have wanted a relationship to fill a void I felt, to fulfil the expectations of family and society, to ‘complete me’ (damn that Jerry Maguire!), to do all the things that I have felt I should be doing with a partner.  I’ve been working on this feeling and my own self-value outside of a relationship for a while now and recently this feeling shifted and lifted.  I’m almost excited with these emotions of liberation and untold potential.  My feelings of self-worth are literally through the roof, and part of what got me to this place was letting go.  I made a conscious and emotional decision to let go of past hurt, past love and past expectations.  I decided to fully embrace my ‘now’ and I forgave myself for my past.  I forgave people who I felt have hurt me, and by forgiving I don’t mean forgetting.  Remembering the behaviour of others keeps me informed and serves as a reminder if I ever need it, but I have let go of the hurt through forgiveness. In doing so, I have put down the burden of pain and regret and have freed myself from having to carry this heaviness around with me every day.  There is so much scientific evidence to support the real benefits of forgiveness, yes, even for the person who hurt you.  Trust me, you don’t have to tell them that you forgive them; even writing a letter which you will never send them can go some way to catharsis.  There’s power in that.

 

In a way that I’ve never before felt about myself, I now fully appreciate all the wonderful things about myself and feel it in my bones that I am great just as I am.  I believe that this is how we should all feel, instead of being completely absorbed by all the things we feel we are lacking in ourselves and our own lives.  When you put all of your energy into ruminating about what you lack, you have no energy left to put into appreciating just how amazing you actually are and all the fantastic things you already have in your life.  It’s human nature to want more: more of something, more of the good times, more time in general.  Yet by focusing on all these things, you fail to show up and be present in your ‘now’ and you’re missing out on your own life.

 

Embrace where you are right now because you will never get this moment back again.  Do all the things you want to do, and if you can’t do them now, put a plan together to do them at a certain point in the future.  If you’re single and feeling like your life is on pause, take yourself to the theatre, or out for a lovely dinner, or join that dance class you’ve been wanting to take for ages; challenge yourself to do all the things that you’ve wanted to do but never felt comfortable doing on your own.  In the last few months I have taken myself out for dinner and gone off to the theatre too.  Alongside the feelings of ‘everybody’s watching me’ were the feelings of accomplishment, confidence and great satisfaction.  I now know for certain that I can do whatever it is that I want to do, and do it comfortably on my own.  Is this how I envisioned my life would be twenty years ago?  No.  Is this the life I have now?  Yes, and I intend to enjoy every single moment of it.

 

I challenge you to do the same.  You’ll love yourself all the more for it.

 

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